Updated: May 22
It’s evening time and I am tired. The dishes still need to be done and the project I have been dying to get to all day seems even more exhausting because it feels like I have nothing left to give. I reach for my phone, and I start scrolling through some social media platform. The evening hours hasten onward and now, 4 hours later, I roll into bed and have a pit in my stomach that is accompanied by a thought:
“You have failed, you’re goal hasn’t been reached. You choose to do something else than to start even just a little bit of that goal that you had”
Can you relate? I know this has happened to me time and again. And somehow, I still wonder, how come I can never get anything done?!
What gets in your way?
SELF-SABOTAGE is a big one. There is this visceral, almost wall, that builds up and when the time comes to go for that goal, you honestly believe you can’t, so you purposely make sure you just don’t have “time” “energy” or whatever it is you need to accomplish this new goal.
Self-sabotage is founded in lack of self-esteem. Usually someone who self-sabotages feel anxiety, pressure, and insecure about the result and the outcome of how it will reflect back on them. Also, the pressure of holding two opposing outcomes can feel daunting. It is easy for the brain to want to take the path of least resistance and coerce you back into the safe, gentle, and hushing atmosphere of not succeeding at this new goal.
What can you do? Talk to this voice, prepare for it, and then when it comes to comfort you back into submission decided how you personally are seeking to support the future well-being that you desire for yourself.
THE PERFECTION STANDARD: Another thing that can get in the way of building your goal is having too high of a standard. Perhaps even unreachable. Perfectionism is usually a skewed perception of what “perfect” looks like. It is an unattainable standard that is aimed for and most-likely exhausting to achieve - if you can achieve it.
What can I do? The key is to aim for 80%, you will still outperform most of your peers and colleagues, yet you will not be trying to make it absolutely your kind of “perfect”.
Take time to make space to rediscover yourself and allow yourself time and space to do things right the first time with the least amount of multitasking possible. One thing at a time, give it space, and then press forward even if it isn’t quite right, understand that you did the best you could.
What can help build momentum in your goals?
That is right, you heard me. There is no magical pill, no one-size fits all, no optimal solution other than consistency.
Darren Hardy wrote in his book “The Compound Effect” about the way one added to one is powerful it compounds and builds upon itself.
Hardy shares an example in his book about the power of a compounding penny. He offers a person 5 million dollars right now or a penny that compounds everyday for 31 days.
Day 1= .01
Day 2= .02
Day 3 = .04
Day 10= $10.24
Day 22= $41,943.04
And so on. It isn’t until the 29th day does that penny exceed 5 million dollars.
There is power in consistency, and it comes because of the way your goal, in it’s smallest form is going to build upon itself and compound until you reach exponential results.
If you want longevity to any goal, real results, and the ultimate outcome the best place to start is with consistency.
Here are a few suggestions on how to build consistency:
Make things bite sized. If you want to lose weight by getting more exercise, just start by adding 1,000 more steps to your day– every day. Then over the course of 3 months you have added 93,000 new steps to your day. That may seem like a lot, yet when you get there, it feels natural to keep adding 1,000 more steps.
Start and give what you can. Having an all or nothing mentality is crippling when it comes to reaching new goals. Keep an open mind and allow yourself to just do 5 minutes of your new goal even if it is a small amount, it still helps added up over time. Duolingo is a great example of how a little practice, over a period of time, can cultivate true learning and change.
Start today. Seriously, don’t wait one more day. If you are waiting you are losing the power of the compound effect. Begin today. Just start with the smallest aspect of this goal and you will see that as you consistently do a small amount it will blossom and grow into real results.
No matter the goal, you can do it! Make the time and allow yourself grace as you grow. It is alright to not fully reach where you want to be, yet with practice, your habits and your persistence you will see great results!